Living Inside My Head

Sorry guys but I'll be moving this blog to Tumblr. Right now, I am still moving my previous entries so I won't be posting for a while.  Click here  to be redirected to my new blog. Thank you and happy reading :)

All my life, everyone has been watching over me. Yeah, it's a good thing...but watching over me in a way where all my whereabouts will be mentioned to my family, or whatever time I'd arrive home, or where I had been the whole day? That's just too much. It's my first year in college already, I am 16 years old. Before I came here in the city to study in the university I wanted to go to, my family expected that I'd call them, crying, because I can't handle being alone. They would tell my landlady that I don't know anything, and I just sat there, silent. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and yet I never called them crying that I wanna go home. There is no place like home, yes, but for someone who felt like your every move was being checked, it felt fine to be away for a while, but of course, that feeling of being away from the city and wanting to go back to our province comes out often. Although being here in the boarding house didn't...

Whenever I'm alone in public and my self-esteem's shorter than the length of your toenails, and if I really wanna do something but is too shy to do it, I'd say to myself "Fug it, they won't care." Will you care if I'm just a stranger who just passed by? No. Will you care if I buy food from the hotdog stand next to you? No. Will you care if I do some lip-syncing from my favourite tunes? Probably no. Will you care if you see me trip? Well, of course you'd hold yourself back from laughing, but it will just pass because I am just some random stranger that's hoping that you won't know my identity...at all. Our world is full of people that's judgmental. Everyone is. You, me, your dog, your neighbor, your cow, your duck...everyone. That's why a lot of people today are scared. Scared to go out of their own shell. Well you know what? After living away from my family for a few months (because of college), I learned that the only ...

My last post was last July, and I am really..kind of.. disappointed with myself. We all know how college takes all our time and energy that we might not have any motivation to do anything as we get home, but here I am, a lazy bum, going online everyday, but never had that "push" to make me post anything here. Reason? I suddenly give up when I ask myself: "What am I supposed to blog about anyway?" Ironic how I'm taking Journalism as a course in college, and there I was, giving up without even trying. Now I won't be talking about how we shouldn't give up on our dreams, because we really shouldn't. Life gives us a lot of choices ahead and it's up to us to choose which road to take, and I know that I've taken the wrong ones. Honestly. it's also because I've given up. I lost hope that nobody ever reads this blog of mine. I've seen successful bloggers and seen how beautiful their creations are and I know that I am still in ...

We can't help it but hide our feelings. People ask us how we're feeling and we'll tell them we're fine, and it just ends there. You try to smile to support your answer and they believe you, then you tell yourself to smile, hold it in, it will pass. But no, you lay down on your bed at night and you just cry yourself to sleep because it feels too damn good to cry. It feels good to cry in the dark atleast, to be ready to smile the next day, because some people will call you "too emotional" if you do, but you know what? If you're feeling sad and you can't contain all the agony anymore, then cry for God's sake. We live in a world where people will judge you no matter you do anyway, so why put up a strong face when you're already dying inside? Cry. Just cry. Let it all out, don't mind what people will think of you. You had too much, why keep on holding it in? It feels good to cry, and it's healthy. Even the sky cries sometimes, why not ...

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Another storm might be coming this week in our country, but as much as it brings joy to students whose classes will get suspended, we should also think about the people who have no shelter to find warmth and safety. Please do pray for them.