Skip to main content

Unlocked.

I finally got the news that I passed the aptitude test of the college that I wanted to enroll to. Finally, I am going to be a journalist student and nothing could change that. I can finally live up to my dream of being a writer and I can prove to my family that I can do it.

When we found the perfect boarding house, my aunts and uncles were talking to the owner of the house. I stayed silent because there's no way for me to stop them from speaking. Their words stabbed me like a knife in my most vulnerable state. "She knows nothing", "we don't trust her when she's alone": those are the words that they kept on saying. The only good thing about it is that my sister didn't add up. Everyone in my family knows that I am a hopeless person and I'm a no-good kind of person. Lazy, clumsy, never the best, last choice, and the obvious, not trustworthy. 

That is the reason why I can't wait to start my first day in college. I can't wait to prove to them that I can handle being alone and without them to shoulder the things that I myself can do. I have tried proving that I am responsible, but once they see your laziness, that idea won't get out of their head. My laziness and irresponsibility is my signature in my family. Ask them who's the laziest, you won't be shocked when they'll point at me.

But I get it, I had been a happy-go-lucky kind of person. It's not their fault that they're looking at me at that kind of way. I MADE them look at me like that and I didn't move an inch to prove them wrong. And now that I want to change, their mind is fixed, and all I can do is survive my first year in college, and hopefully, they'll change their mind. Here comes the new me.

Honestly, it's all okay for me now. They are trying their best to help me enroll and that's already a huge thing for me. I know that in the deepest part of their thoughts, I know that they trust me and I know that they believe in me and I am determined to change their perspective of this person writing about this now.

Once my first year in college ends, I know that a lot of things will change. Right now, the only one that can help me is me. There will be barricades along the way but I know that I can get through them. No mountain is too high for a person with perseverance, no oceans too deep for a  strong submarine, and no story too long for a writer who puts her feelings and ideas into words.

I can imagine myself in a lamp-lit room doing nothing but write, scratch my head, and maybe have a little sip on a cup of coffee, and I want to make that come to life. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Take Love Away

If you know someone who has a girlfriend and if you're planning to flirt with the man, I'm gonna have to ask you to read this post until the end. This will be short. Whenever I'm outside, in a classroom, or in a cafe, I have heard conversations about a girl crushing on a guy who already have a girlfriend, and what I heard we're pretty bad. Their plans would either be: wait til they break up (adding "walang forever" / "there's no forever") flirt steal the guy herself Why? Why do you have to go through all that process on stealing someone's love? Why do you have to be selfish? Do you think about the consequences? Have you ever thought that you will ruin someone's view about love? How can you live thinking that you got what you want, but there is someone out there crying at night thinking why they WEREN'T ENOUGH. If it sounds as if I've been through that kind of pain... then yes, I have, and I still am going through ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Original Plan

The original plan? I'm supposed to study in my family's dream university... University of the Philippines.   But then I chose West Visayas State University because my desired course is there, and now, I am indeed happy of my decision. I told my family before that I'll just try WVSU at first then transfer to UP when I get to my second year in college... I guess I'll abort that mission. My original plan before I started my college life is to remain invisible...to be just another person in the corner eating burgers or whatnot, just another person passing by for a year because I'm not supposed to be there after a year anyway. But then I met these people that made me forget about my disposition. I see them everyday and it makes me tell myself that "there it is, here's that something that's too hard to leave behind." Friends, they're already my family. I hang-out with them everyday, I see them tease and annoy each other at times, we la...
Post a Comment
Read more

Goodnight.

It's almost 2am and my mind is filled with reasons why I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep ... because when you've said your last "goodnight" for today, I wondered if you'll ever need me for the next couple of hours. What if you couldn't sleep, or have been woken up from a nightmare, and I wouldn't be there to tell you that everything's going to be alright? Tell me what's bothering you at 3am and I will talk to you until you fall asleep. And by then I'll bid you Goodnight. I couldn't sleep ... because when I look at the ceiling, I'd wish that by the time I look beside me, I can see you, and not this pillow missing the warmth of your skin. And maybe by then we wouldn't need to have our phone in our hands, because I would intertwine your fingers with mine, and they'd fit perfectly, almost as if it's meant to be. And we'll look at each other's eyes Not on our phones Because we wouldn't have ...
Post a Comment
Read more