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Anxiety Level: 101%

Yesterday, I took the aptitude exam and had an interview in the college I am planning to attend to. Everything went smoothly and fast while I was there. On my way home, I got all these questions  stuck in my head: (BA Journalism is the course I took by the way)

What if I messed up?
What if I wouldn't pass?
What if they think I'm not good enough?
What if I couldn't make the cut?

Those questions had been in my head since yesterday and I am feeling so bad. I want to cheer myself up but I can't. I hate this feeling. Am I over-thinking?
With those negative thoughts that I have, I decided to write here. We were told to return there on the 8th day of May, my father's birthday, and that just adds up to the problem. Two important events in one day. My life is so messed up right now.
I want to distract myself from those thoughts but what else am I supposed to do this summer? I can write here everyday, yes, but that wouldn't distract me before May 8 comes.

And then it hit me, these thoughts will just ruin my...I dunno, life probably, so I took a deep breath and prayed. That's probably the best thing to be done in times of hardships, right? And right now, I'm feeding myself with music that can motivate me to think positively and it kinda helps.

I am not used to thinking negatively actually because I am always focusing on the positive side of things but this is college, this is important. My future lies with it. If only I could exchange something for just one more yesterday-- nah, I'm over-thinking again. I kept telling myself that "Everything happens for a reason" and I believe that. I'll just trust God with His plans and I know that he wouldn't do something that I couldn't handle.

So as you can see, I'm in a fight with myself, my negative and positive side, and right now, I'll just stick to thinking positively because the negative side won't help me get through this. And I wouldn't want to disappoint my family in the process.

Come on, Elycaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

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