Skip to main content

Freshmen Years (Share Yours Too)

"Never thought it could go any worse than that"

During the first month of summer before my life as a high school student would start, my father used to hate everything I do...and by everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

One time, I was writing on my journal, he scowled at me and said "What are you doing?! You're not even writing on your notebook during your days in elementary!"

Then there's this other time when I drank fresh milk. He was like "Why are you drinking that?! You're not allowed to drink fresh milk at this time of day!"

And of course, the basic thing that parents usually do:

I was watching TV then he called me outside. He was with our family and they were talking. I went up to them and he started talking about all my failures in life and they all started laughing at me. I swear, at that time, I wanted to cut myself.

I went to my room crying and searched for something sharp (can't use the knife, too big). I couldn't find any blade or cutter so I went for the stainless fastener. I wrote "PERFECT" in my arm with it like how the girl did it in the "Fucking Perfect" music video of Pink. It didn't bleed though. Was afraid cuz it hurts.

I went  to my sister after and showed it to her and then...do you know what she did???



She laughed at me and called me emo. I got embarrassed and decided to never try to cut myself again. Yes, I was a wimp.



AT SCHOOL...


You can usually see me sitting at the very corner of the classroom doing nothing but write while everyone in the room keeps on chatting themselves up and having fun. I was a loner at school. Whenever our teacher would tell us to find a partner, I would wait for the last person who doesn't have a partner because he/she has no choice but to partner up with me, right? Poor kid, I know.

One of my classmates went up to me once and told me everything that my classmates would comment about me. Here are the few things I remember:

  • I dress up awkwardly. (Tshirt, pants, rubber shoes, and jackets)
  • I walk in an awkward manner (I never knew there's a normal way of walking)
  • I am childish (Dude, I was 13 years old)
  • I talk to my dad like a baby (okay, let's discuss about that later)
  • I am boring (yes, I admit that. never knew any jokes good to crack up because no one actually talks to me)
Oh, and someone actually called me a "stealer" because her crush went through my bag and I asked her crush why he was going through my stuff. Ironic isn't it. (But hey, that girl's one of my best friends right now)

As you can see, I was nothing but a dust in the wind for them, but little did they know that I have a lot of online friends in this website called Tinierme. (But sadly, it's gone now, still mourning about it)

My life at home wasn't any different because before I go to school, my father would check my bag and one time, I forgot to throw the trash in my bag, he shouted at me about how unclean I was so he threw all the stuffs in my bag outside our house and I had to pick all of them up. I was teary eyed because I don't want to cry before I go to school. I was late for school after but of course, nobody noticed.

P.S.

I talk to my dad like a baby in school because I got used to it when I was in elementary. My sister, mom, dad, and I were really close. But ever since mom died, everything changed.

But I still love my dad no matter what.






How bout you? Wanna share your story? I wanna read yours too and I can post it here in my blog. You can send it on my email.
erisedleviosa@yahoo.com
OR
egalimpin@gmail.com

Don't be shy to share your own story.I will be glad to read it. :)


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some Alone Time

This blog has been mostly about positive outlooks in life and the future, but allow me to give you a little gray cloud on a sunny day. For the past few weeks, my family has been asking me about my depression. They'd ask how can I still not get over my parent's death ( read about it   here ). How can I if that triggered my depression on? I know they're worried, they told me that they give me the things I need... but then I thought... I don't need material things, I just need them to understand. When they inquire me what's really happening inside my nutshell, I'd just look down and tell them that it's not easy to define, and I told them that I'll just express all of it to my psychiatrist. But today, I decided to write all about it. I know that the negativity of this post isn’t decent, but at least hear me out. 3 years ago, a year after my mom died, I understood my father’s constant drinking of alcoholic beverages, and I also understood all his s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Goodnight.

It's almost 2am and my mind is filled with reasons why I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep ... because when you've said your last "goodnight" for today, I wondered if you'll ever need me for the next couple of hours. What if you couldn't sleep, or have been woken up from a nightmare, and I wouldn't be there to tell you that everything's going to be alright? Tell me what's bothering you at 3am and I will talk to you until you fall asleep. And by then I'll bid you Goodnight. I couldn't sleep ... because when I look at the ceiling, I'd wish that by the time I look beside me, I can see you, and not this pillow missing the warmth of your skin. And maybe by then we wouldn't need to have our phone in our hands, because I would intertwine your fingers with mine, and they'd fit perfectly, almost as if it's meant to be. And we'll look at each other's eyes Not on our phones Because we wouldn't have ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Prayers

Remember that girl who bullied you yesterday? Or maybe that boy who teased awful things about you? Or those people who have let you down? What do you do to them? Do you bully them back or let them do what makes them happy, and that's hurting you? There's this line that says "Don't judge the book by its cover." We all know that it's about judgmental people. But come to think of it, are there people who don't judge?  I have read, seen, and heard about people's lives. About how cruel people to them are and how they just constantly tear them apart. But then again, we can't escape the fact that people like them exist, there will always be someone who will rain on your parade. But how did these kind of people exist? Let's go back to the girl who bullied you. Did you notice her scratches? How bout her bruises? No? How do you think is she treated at home?  Have you heard someone cry in your school's comfort room lately? THAT WAS HER. ...
Post a Comment
Read more