Living Inside My Head

(Note: I've met people who've done this. And I can't keep silent about it anymore) Why? Why do you do it? Why do you have to pretend that you are depressed so people can turn their attention to you, too? Why do you use it as an excuse? Why? "I'm depressed because my friends cancelled out on me" "I'm depressed because my boyfriend hangs out with his friends more than me" "I'm depressed because my friends are busy and i have no one to talk to" ... Not quite. There are people out there who needs to be listened to. There are people out there who needs serious help. Let me tell you the difference between sadness and depression. You see, sadness is a human emotion that is normal for all of us. Everyone experiences it. People feel sad if there are disappointing, hurtful, or difficult experiences that come along. Which simply means that we feel sad for a reason. Once we move on from a hurtful situation, our sadness disappears.

If you have been crying in your room all night wishing to end everything, If you have been waking up thinking if you can make it through today, If your thoughts are louder than the sound of your friends pounding and endlessly knocking on your door begging you to open up, If you have ever faked your smiles and your "i'm okay's" so you don't end up crying while telling someone how you really feel, If you have ever felt like a burden to anyone that you think the best way is to disappear, and If you've ever felt too much that you need to feel something burning on your skin to remind you that you are alive, you are not alone. I thought I was going to be okay. I was healing. I was meeting with my psychiatrist once every month. I buy my medicines every week and take them regularly and on time. I was on track. I was going to be okay. Or so I thought. My family does not understand "depression" and "anxiety". They don't understand w

If I am not her, the person who you want to be happy with, All I ask is for you to Send her a good morning text the second you wake up, you'll complete her day the second she reads it. Remind her that she's beautiful, and she'll smile every time you tell her, and maybe you'd look at her... the way I look at you. If I am not her, the person who you want to give your time to, If you're busy, don't forget to check up on her. Don't send her one word replies, let her know that you want to talk to her. Ask her if everything's alright. Tell her you'll be back soon. Always make her feel that she's not alone because I know she'd want to talk to you a lot, like I'd love to talk to you. If I am not her, the person you last think of before you fall asleep, Always send her a goodnight text, and don't forget your "I love you's". She'll sleep easier knowing she's just the one for you... Like I used to sleep, almo

January 10, 2017 How old would you have been by now? I lost count. How long has it been? Seven years. In those seven years, I have graduated from high school, and now I'm in college. Ma! I passed UP! I hope you're happy for me-- Mama. Mama. Mama. I miss calling you mama. I miss the feeling of wanting to go home, because I know you'll be waiting for me there, along with papa. Maybe... maybe  I'd be more excited with the idea of going home, when I know that you'll be there waiting. When I eat my meals outside, I often see moms holding their child softly in their arms, and I would often hope that the baby will treat their mom with love and care... like I would have with you if I'll be given one more day, just one more day to be with you. Recently, we visited your mom (grandma) and your sisters (aunts) and one of them looks like you. Is it bad that I thought it was you? That you were actually there this whole time and this was all a surprise? That you we

It's almost 2am and my mind is filled with reasons why I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep ... because when you've said your last "goodnight" for today, I wondered if you'll ever need me for the next couple of hours. What if you couldn't sleep, or have been woken up from a nightmare, and I wouldn't be there to tell you that everything's going to be alright? Tell me what's bothering you at 3am and I will talk to you until you fall asleep. And by then I'll bid you Goodnight. I couldn't sleep ... because when I look at the ceiling, I'd wish that by the time I look beside me, I can see you, and not this pillow missing the warmth of your skin. And maybe by then we wouldn't need to have our phone in our hands, because I would intertwine your fingers with mine, and they'd fit perfectly, almost as if it's meant to be. And we'll look at each other's eyes Not on our phones Because we wouldn't have

"Don't say anything when you are mad or you'll regret it later." Maybe I will regret posting this, maybe I won't, but I would like to give you my two cents about mental illnesses and why it is F------ IMPORTANT. I have stopped myself a lot of times from posting an article like this because I know some people still won't understand it, and maybe they never will, and maybe they will judge me, but I don't care. I am sick of keeping this all in. For starters, I am diagnosed with DEPRESSION and ANXIETY. I go to the psychiatrist every month for my appointment. I have been doing this for a year now and I am still not healed because recently, I stopped my medications (I decided it for myself) because I thought that I didn't need it anymore and my family was complaining about the expenses anyway... (and they don't understand my illness as well). Everyday, I am struggling to get up in the morning. "Is it worth it?" "Should I even liv