Unlocked.

I finally got the news that I passed the aptitude test of the college that I wanted to enroll to. Finally, I am going to be a journalist student and nothing could change that. I can finally live up to my dream of being a writer and I can prove to my family that I can do it.

When we found the perfect boarding house, my aunts and uncles were talking to the owner of the house. I stayed silent because there's no way for me to stop them from speaking. Their words stabbed me like a knife in my most vulnerable state. "She knows nothing", "we don't trust her when she's alone": those are the words that they kept on saying. The only good thing about it is that my sister didn't add up. Everyone in my family knows that I am a hopeless person and I'm a no-good kind of person. Lazy, clumsy, never the best, last choice, and the obvious, not trustworthy. 

That is the reason why I can't wait to start my first day in college. I can't wait to prove to them that I can handle being alone and without them to shoulder the things that I myself can do. I have tried proving that I am responsible, but once they see your laziness, that idea won't get out of their head. My laziness and irresponsibility is my signature in my family. Ask them who's the laziest, you won't be shocked when they'll point at me.

But I get it, I had been a happy-go-lucky kind of person. It's not their fault that they're looking at me at that kind of way. I MADE them look at me like that and I didn't move an inch to prove them wrong. And now that I want to change, their mind is fixed, and all I can do is survive my first year in college, and hopefully, they'll change their mind. Here comes the new me.

Honestly, it's all okay for me now. They are trying their best to help me enroll and that's already a huge thing for me. I know that in the deepest part of their thoughts, I know that they trust me and I know that they believe in me and I am determined to change their perspective of this person writing about this now.

Once my first year in college ends, I know that a lot of things will change. Right now, the only one that can help me is me. There will be barricades along the way but I know that I can get through them. No mountain is too high for a person with perseverance, no oceans too deep for a  strong submarine, and no story too long for a writer who puts her feelings and ideas into words.

I can imagine myself in a lamp-lit room doing nothing but write, scratch my head, and maybe have a little sip on a cup of coffee, and I want to make that come to life.