Skip to main content

Freshmen Years (Share Yours Too)

"Never thought it could go any worse than that"

During the first month of summer before my life as a high school student would start, my father used to hate everything I do...and by everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

One time, I was writing on my journal, he scowled at me and said "What are you doing?! You're not even writing on your notebook during your days in elementary!"

Then there's this other time when I drank fresh milk. He was like "Why are you drinking that?! You're not allowed to drink fresh milk at this time of day!"

And of course, the basic thing that parents usually do:

I was watching TV then he called me outside. He was with our family and they were talking. I went up to them and he started talking about all my failures in life and they all started laughing at me. I swear, at that time, I wanted to cut myself.

I went to my room crying and searched for something sharp (can't use the knife, too big). I couldn't find any blade or cutter so I went for the stainless fastener. I wrote "PERFECT" in my arm with it like how the girl did it in the "Fucking Perfect" music video of Pink. It didn't bleed though. Was afraid cuz it hurts.

I went  to my sister after and showed it to her and then...do you know what she did???



She laughed at me and called me emo. I got embarrassed and decided to never try to cut myself again. Yes, I was a wimp.



AT SCHOOL...


You can usually see me sitting at the very corner of the classroom doing nothing but write while everyone in the room keeps on chatting themselves up and having fun. I was a loner at school. Whenever our teacher would tell us to find a partner, I would wait for the last person who doesn't have a partner because he/she has no choice but to partner up with me, right? Poor kid, I know.

One of my classmates went up to me once and told me everything that my classmates would comment about me. Here are the few things I remember:

  • I dress up awkwardly. (Tshirt, pants, rubber shoes, and jackets)
  • I walk in an awkward manner (I never knew there's a normal way of walking)
  • I am childish (Dude, I was 13 years old)
  • I talk to my dad like a baby (okay, let's discuss about that later)
  • I am boring (yes, I admit that. never knew any jokes good to crack up because no one actually talks to me)
Oh, and someone actually called me a "stealer" because her crush went through my bag and I asked her crush why he was going through my stuff. Ironic isn't it. (But hey, that girl's one of my best friends right now)

As you can see, I was nothing but a dust in the wind for them, but little did they know that I have a lot of online friends in this website called Tinierme. (But sadly, it's gone now, still mourning about it)

My life at home wasn't any different because before I go to school, my father would check my bag and one time, I forgot to throw the trash in my bag, he shouted at me about how unclean I was so he threw all the stuffs in my bag outside our house and I had to pick all of them up. I was teary eyed because I don't want to cry before I go to school. I was late for school after but of course, nobody noticed.

P.S.

I talk to my dad like a baby in school because I got used to it when I was in elementary. My sister, mom, dad, and I were really close. But ever since mom died, everything changed.

But I still love my dad no matter what.






How bout you? Wanna share your story? I wanna read yours too and I can post it here in my blog. You can send it on my email.
erisedleviosa@yahoo.com
OR
egalimpin@gmail.com

Don't be shy to share your own story.I will be glad to read it. :)


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Untitled.

"You have to work hard to achieve your goal." The most cliche line that people would say to motivate you. But honestly, the only one that can motivate you is yourself...Well unless you're at school and there's a certain activity where you look at your best friend and say "I'll join if you join." Agree? I started with this article without a title because i gotta be honest with you guys...I am in a conflict with myself about what to write about next, so I really need your help. Be open, tell me what you want me to write about and I'll try my best to write about it. You can ask me for help and I will rack my brain just to find the perfect advice for you because I wanna be someone who you can lean on and someone that you're not afraid to tell all your problems to I want to be that someone that you can actually call a friend because in my past, I needed someone that I could lean on because I was alone and I don't want anybody to experience tha...
Post a Comment
Read more

Goodnight.

It's almost 2am and my mind is filled with reasons why I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep ... because when you've said your last "goodnight" for today, I wondered if you'll ever need me for the next couple of hours. What if you couldn't sleep, or have been woken up from a nightmare, and I wouldn't be there to tell you that everything's going to be alright? Tell me what's bothering you at 3am and I will talk to you until you fall asleep. And by then I'll bid you Goodnight. I couldn't sleep ... because when I look at the ceiling, I'd wish that by the time I look beside me, I can see you, and not this pillow missing the warmth of your skin. And maybe by then we wouldn't need to have our phone in our hands, because I would intertwine your fingers with mine, and they'd fit perfectly, almost as if it's meant to be. And we'll look at each other's eyes Not on our phones Because we wouldn't have ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Some Alone Time

This blog has been mostly about positive outlooks in life and the future, but allow me to give you a little gray cloud on a sunny day. For the past few weeks, my family has been asking me about my depression. They'd ask how can I still not get over my parent's death ( read about it   here ). How can I if that triggered my depression on? I know they're worried, they told me that they give me the things I need... but then I thought... I don't need material things, I just need them to understand. When they inquire me what's really happening inside my nutshell, I'd just look down and tell them that it's not easy to define, and I told them that I'll just express all of it to my psychiatrist. But today, I decided to write all about it. I know that the negativity of this post isn’t decent, but at least hear me out. 3 years ago, a year after my mom died, I understood my father’s constant drinking of alcoholic beverages, and I also understood all his s...
Post a Comment
Read more