Living Inside My Head

Yesterday, I took the aptitude exam and had an interview in the college I am planning to attend to. Everything went smoothly and fast while I was there. On my way home, I got all these questions  stuck in my head: (BA Journalism is the course I took by the way) What if I messed up? What if I wouldn't pass? What if they think I'm not good enough? What if I couldn't make the cut? Those questions had been in my head since yesterday and I am feeling so bad. I want to cheer myself up but I can't. I hate this feeling. Am I over-thinking? With those negative thoughts that I have, I decided to write here. We were told to return there on the 8th day of May, my father's birthday, and that just adds up to the problem. Two important events in one day. My life is so messed up right now. I want to distract myself from those thoughts but what else am I supposed to do this summer? I can write here everyday, yes, but that wouldn't distract me before May 8 comes. And t...

"You have to work hard to achieve your goal." The most cliche line that people would say to motivate you. But honestly, the only one that can motivate you is yourself...Well unless you're at school and there's a certain activity where you look at your best friend and say "I'll join if you join." Agree? I started with this article without a title because i gotta be honest with you guys...I am in a conflict with myself about what to write about next, so I really need your help. Be open, tell me what you want me to write about and I'll try my best to write about it. You can ask me for help and I will rack my brain just to find the perfect advice for you because I wanna be someone who you can lean on and someone that you're not afraid to tell all your problems to I want to be that someone that you can actually call a friend because in my past, I needed someone that I could lean on because I was alone and I don't want anybody to experience tha...

We all have these moments when we tell ourselves that our life's ruined. It might be because of a book, a movie, series, talk shows, or anything that we sank our hearts and feelings into. And it just happened to me...AGAIN. Here I am typing in my blog at 3am because I just paused a series that I am watching, I didn't just pause it, I closed that VLC media player and heaved out a stressed laugh because that series was ruining my life. I know that we all got disappointed from the wrong decisions that our favourite characters make and how impeccable their bad timing is, but maybe that's what's making the story more interesting. What if our life's a movie and people have been watching it? What if they get the same reaction we do when we get depressed, sad, or even happy with whatever the main character does? What if the voices in our head are actually the voices of the people watching over our life story? I have thought about that too, it sounds interesting but it...

I am proud to say that I am a Marooner and one of the huge fans of Maroon 5. Their songs inspire me and makes my day complete just by listening to their songs. They may not know that I exist but they know that there's someone out there listening and adoring their music and that's already enough for me. I will forever support them and be one of those stars in the sky, they may not see all the stars but they know they're there. Some people complain about my addiction to this band, and that just makes me...I don't know the exact word to express what I'm feeling but it's close to feeling disappointed. They don't know how this band saved me. They don't know how this band inspire me. They don't know how the little things that this band do makes me happy. They don't know that this band is my life. They don't know how this band's music make my heart sing. They don't know how this band makes me smile. They don't know that I love this ba...

Most of them say that being blind is hard. You wouldn't know where you are, you wouldn't know what's the color of this and that, you would't know how amazing earth is, you'll see nothing but darkness... But being blind doesn't mean you don't have any chances of living the good life in this world. You have the ears to listen, the nose to smell, the mouth to speak, and the skin to feel, and maybe, just maybe, that could be enough. You can listen to nature surrounding you. The rushing of the river, the chirping of the birds... You can smell what you're cooking and make it a perfect dish because you can smell the bad ones from the good ones... You can speak up your mind and also ask people for assistance because you can't really see them but you know they are there... And you have the skin to feel the wind sweeping on your face, the gentle touch of a person guiding you, the softness and roughness of things, and that's already enoug...

Have you ever had a problem where you just want to forget about it? What did you do to forget? Drink? Yes, most probably. Why are we always finding ways to forget? To escape? To flush all our problems in our system for a while? Or to run away from the cruelties of life even for just a moment? I'm not saying that this is bad, because it isn't. It's like being on vacation for a little while, right? It's like putting all your problems in the recycle bin but restore it all again after. It's like putting your headphones on, volumes up, and disappearing from the world even for just a few moments. But escaping from these problems have limits, too.Imagine holding on to a rope that has been supporting you for too long, can it carry you forever? No. If we escape from pain, then can we call ourselves alive? If we don't have problems, are we really human? If everything goes our way, can we consider ourselves as a player from this so-called "Game of Life?" ...

Have you ever teased someone and felt good about it? What do you feel when you make someone jealous? Did you feel happy when you embarrassed someone in public? What are your answers? Are they all positive or negative? It can't be helped but most people like seeing other people suffer or be ashamed of themselves. I see this kind of "habit" everyday. The other side is laughing while the other side stays silent and hides what he/she truly feels. Which side are you on? The abused or the abuser? If you're the abuser, think about this: Will you want that to happen to you, too? You might have teased someone and tell the person that she/he's ugly, but who do you think is uglier? You might say he/she looks "Ugly" in appearance but who has the ugliest personality? You. Someone's crush is more sweet and friendlier to you but you let that someone know all the sweet things he does for you and laugh at her about it? How do you feel? Do you feel happy n...